The Second Date

I spent much of the next day hung over and thinking there was no way I was going to be able to rally, be fun or interesting in anyway but in the end I managed to dress myself, smile pretty and put on some hot three inch heels to meet him at yet another steak house. We chatted easily again and at one point he told me that I’m beautiful inside & out. He then expanded on that by saying that not only am I pretty, but intelligent and interesting and really the whole package (WAHOO). All of which besides being really flattering, took me by surprise. I have been so caught up in getting over my loser ex’s, the Hampton’s group, my job and the fact that I’ve gained some weight that I lost sight of the fact that I’m really not all that bad. I’d put myself in this self-imposed dating and going out hiatus because I didn’t feel good about myself. I think when you put yourself in that rut for so long it’s like you forget that you’re a smart attractive person that others may be interested in getting to know. I have felt like I’ve gained so much weight that I haven’t wanted to go out, I felt that people would not want to talk to me, I forgot I’ve actually accomplished a lot professionally, and have interesting things to say that people want to hear. Which is really what this post should be about, but I’m going to keep it on the date and save my self reflection for another time (lucky you).

After dinner we walked back to the bar and scene of our first date, as we were walking he reached down and took my hand, it’s amazing how such a simple gesture can feel so sweet, reassuring and a little scary at the same time. At the bar his friend was working again who joked around and said funny sweet things like it was his job to be entertaining or something. I joked that it was our 2nd day anniversary because here we were standing in the exact spot we’d met in the night before. He said the whole thing was kismet – his word not mine.

Part of our night included the fact that our mutual friend that had fixed us up was mad at me for not getting back to her earlier in the day with details of our date. Part of that was because she emailed me at work and I didn’t go in so I never got her messages and the other part was that I was just too tired and hung over to think about it. When she sent me a text I responded that we’d had a fun time and I had drank too much and couldn’t get up the next day. But instead of being patient she left me a voice mail saying she was angry that I wasn’t telling her more, and apparently she’d also been calling him to find out what had happened. He told her he was a nice southern gentleman that doesn’t kiss and tell, but she wasn’t letting it go at that. When he brought it up with me, we both kind of laughed over her insistence although he felt like she was fishing for details, details implying that we’d slept together. Seriously? He suggested that we call her to put her at ease and tell her we were having fun.

But she wasn’t playing or joking around when we called she was actually mad. She accused us of being “secretive” about our night saying it lead her to believe that we’d slept together and to just admit it because we were both slutty, (WT?) which totally floored and embarrassed me. I couldn’t believe she would say that about me, true or not (totally not) it was so not cool. Her actions led me to believe that she’d slept with him the first time she met him so she’d assumed the same of me. I don’t want to know what kind of relationship they’d had in the past and certainly didn’t think what may or may not have gone on between us was any of her business. On top of that I felt like she’d portrayed me in a bad light, which put pressure on us to talk about sex which isn’t exactly second date conversation. I mean he’s known her for 8 years and me for exactly one day, who’s he going to trust? The slutty girl or his friend?

The next day I contacted my friend who for some reason is still pissed off at ME. She says the whole thing was a joke and that I am completely ungrateful that she’d done what she thought was a nice thing by setting us up and I obviously didn’t appreciate it, and that she’s never going to set anyone up again blah blah blah. I told her that it was nice of her and I did appreciate it but that I thought her joke was inappropriate and could have been perceived differently by someone that had just met me. That her knowing that I hadn’t had sex in a long time should have kept her from implying otherwise. So then she accused me of giving her a ton of grief over something that was a joke and that I obviously can’t take a joke. And why did I feel the need to explain to him that I wasn’t slutty, did he also explain that he wasn’t? Basically now it’s a whole big thing just hanging out there What do you all think, does she have the right to pry into details of our date and get angry or jump to conclusions because we didn’t give her any? Seriously it’s a pretty big stretch to think we must have slept together isn’t it?

After our whole, “honestly, I haven’t had sex in forever” conversation we got our date back on track, and met another couple at the bar that we ended up hanging out with for awhile. The weird thing is that the guy not only turned out to live one block from me but they have a mutual friend in Atlanta, small world huh? At the end of the night I did end up going back to his hotel room for awhile exchanging some drunken, rolling around, making out and conversation (and no, I didn’t have sex with him and no clothes were removed). That’s when he started asking me when I was going to come to Atlanta and offering to fly me there to stay with him, he even offered to fly me there that weekend (whoa- holy fast relationship batman)!

So do I like the guy? I think he’s a nice guy, and a good kisser but he’s also kind of a geeky (not in a good way) and he has this weird way of talking about himself in the third person using his full name that I find fairly irritating. I’ve asked him about it and he thinks that it’s a good “sales tool”. Also I feel like he’s always “on” which can get annoying when you are just trying to have a phone conversation. He also talks about his size a lot, I can tell he’s a big guy just by looking at him, I don’t need to be reminded of it several times in every conversation do I? But wait he is funny, and funny, nice and complimentary can go a long way sometimes. I’d love to see him when he’s in town but I don’t want to fly to see him, which I guess is the real answer to where this is going. I have to say though that this date has given me a renewed self esteem that was much needed.